Full-time With Doug

 I've gone from "whatever" to "not sure about this" in a few short months. No, not the lifestyle. I've become more diligent and responsible. By the time I pay for my transmission ($5,500), I'll be tapped out until Friday. There's another credit card coming with another $1,000 but... I'll need to drive without funds. It's only just over 1 hour drive but... I guess I'll say a prayer. Not for the Lord to help me get my way but for safety and peace. I'll throw the dice and head out Monday to Limestone Reservoir where I can park for free. I need to find that sweet spot between being responsible and carefree. Moderation is not my strong suit. I'm an "all or nothing" guy. It's the Asperger's in me focusing on one thing to extreme. It served me well as a programmer as I could lose myself with puzzles... several at a time where one puzzle fits into other puzzles. It was a 24/7 job regardless of efforts to silence it.

 Yay! I'm heading straight to Taylor Reservoir when I leave on Monday, May 8th. I'm planning on parking at Limestone Lake for one week when I leave the transmission shop. I need to wait for funds on Friday and I need to get tons of groceries, as much as I can. I'm not going to stall at all and get there as soon as I can. It'll take me 4 days. I pray that the Balance Harmonizer is not a problem. Worse case scenario : I break down and it's major. I'll have enough to get towed to an RV Park and spend the summer saving for the repair. Sure, why not. I'd miss my job opportunity. I've learned all about disappointment and it's just a feeling when you don't get your way. Smoke a bowl and listen to some music and I'll be ready. First morning at the RV Park, I'll take Miles for a walk and check out our new neighborhood. Maybe I'll meet someone who changes my life. 

 

It's been real cool here In TX, at least where I am. I'm so thankful because I'm getting a late start to my journey north. We should have had a 90 degree day here at some point.  I've been staying with Meghan since 4/3 while the MH gets a new (rebuilt) transmission. I should call today and inquire as to when I can have my home back. I think we've coexisted pretty well. We're alike in so many ways. She's smarter than me and eats healthier. More green and Progressive also. I'm so happy I've had this time with her.

 Miles had fun at the dog park. He played nice with everyone. I always remember the dog's names but not the humans.

 You really do need to scout ahead if you're unfamiliar with the road you want to take. Luckily, you can use Google to see satelite images ahead of where you want to go. Before that trick, I found myself on a very narrow road that I had no business on. When the road is more narrow than the length of your vehicle, you can't turn around. I found this little road that had a gate but enough room to park. It was late so I went to bed. The next morning I walked further down the road and found a spot where I thought I might be able to turn around. I was able to turn around with a 50 point turn. I hooked up the toad and got out of there. Lesson learned.

  When I was a teen, I was pretty wild. Me and my friends cruised around Ft Lauderdale every night, stopping at all the usual places to party. One night we ventured to Pompano where there was a large rock pit. These pits were dug out to build overpasses for I-95. Since S Florida is at near sea level, these pits are big lakes. The gravel road down to the lake had a curve which I missed once. The road had lots of trees around it, all about 3 inches in diameter (guessing). We plowed through the trees. The noise was deafening as we just kept plowing through like a corn field. I floored it and headed back to the road. Everybody in the car was laughing. We were very high. I made it back to the road, only to have everybody wanting to do it again. That's all I remember about that night. Plowing through the trees. The next morning, my mother woke me up carrying on about something. Something about the car. I got out of bed to look at the car, knowing I don't remember coming home. The car

 

As I wait to migrate north and post my journey, I'll share parts of my life. As I look back, it's clearer to me that I was not marriage material. The "adventures" were too numerous and sometimes risky. It's not my personality, it's a disorder.  One evening, there were several vehicles waiting on a C-141 to land. I just needed to grab a valuable, small box and sign for it. We watched it touch down and then past the usual turn to come to where it was supposed to be. We watched it go past us, heading to the end to turn there. Nope. It hung a U-turn across the grass, blowing dirt into the air.  We all had to reposition since it is now coming from the other direction. It successfully pulled into the designated hardstand. We waited for the wheels to get chocked and engines off. The door opens, the flight engineer came off. It was a woman. I was the first one on the plane and some little blonde female captain comes bouncing out of the cockpit with a gigantic grin yel

 

 This may not look like much to you but... I am slowly building muscle in the legs and around the knees to help support them. In combination with massive weight loss I can walk almost 1 mile with little pain but my legs are still weak. I need more protein intake. 😩  Motivated by my desire to trout fish in the streams and rivers.

 It's a beautiful morning here in TX. It's 57 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. It'll warm up to just under 80 today. I took Miles for a long walk and stopped by the park for him to poop. We walked maybe near 1/2 mile. My whole body hurts and legs but I power through it and walk like a normal person. I'm listening to the White Album this morning. Meghan's at the beach so I can turn up the volume. It's good for my head. I ate my oatmeal and will cook some eggs and hash browns. I've been good and not running out for ice cream. I really need to get the rest of this weight off me. 50 more lbs. 60 lbs already. I'm trying to avoid knee surgery.  I tuned into Tommy Chong yesterday and learned more about cannaboids. I've tried CBD in the past when I was spending all my money trying to find a cure. Full Spectrum, Nano CBD is what is going on. Much more effective supposedly. I'll try it. I can't wait to get back to where it's legal so I can buy w

  Billion dollar idea for someone. Hell, I'm not doing anything with it. A Find Me site. You create a simple profile then enter keyword phrases. People can only find you by name if you tell it. People can only find you thru keyword phrases. You can decide what places, events, clubs, college, hs, military assignments for people to find you.  Once connected to someone (like FB friends) you see their messages in a "newsfeed". That's all you see. No ads, crap posts. Just friends. Share stories, pictures, etc. FB has great photo capabilities so let's keep that. Each profile allows blogs, photo albums, biography, and that's it. No snooping, privacy respected. Maybe even allow blogs viewable from outside of the app as a normal web page. It should be a paid subscription after enough people are onboard. Facebook could offer this as a separate app and allow importing FB photos, etc. Then as it becomes successful, Facebook would slowly fade. How much would that be worth

  I'm looking at these EV cars to replace my toad. I can flat tow this one. 4 door hatchback, it's light, good price and I can get it delivered. As soon as I have $5,000 to put down, I'll buy something and pay it off as quick as I can. Maybe around end of the year. https://www.carvana.com/vehicle/2628581?utm_source=vdp-social-share

  I found a cool map showing the area where I live May - Oct. Spring Creek Rd runs all the way to Taylor Canyon with tons of camping all over. I won't have to move every 14 days this year because I'm Camp Hosting at Dinner Station which is way north near where Spring Creek Rd meets Taylor Canyon. I hope I won't get too anxious sitting in one place all season. I need the money and I might really enjoy helping campers. Usually campers are happy-go-lucky. 

 

  When that motorhome is ready, I will feel like this eagle being released. I need to get back out there. I have a great, free site waiting for me just over one hour from here. Those are covered tables along the lake. I've already been there. I drove up in my car to check it out. I get paid on 5/5 and then I can head out toward Abilene, then thru NM to CO. I call the Trading Post to ask them about roads to the Park. I'm not worried about North Pass because it's only 9,000 ft. If I break down real bad again, I'll have to start over and miss my camp host job and possibly the whole summer. It's not something to fear, it's just something to think about and realize it could happen. I'd end up staying at an rv park somewhere for the summer, hopefully where I can still get weed legally. I consumed WAY more weed than I wanted while Beau was dying. It's all I know for keeping me calm. If I can't keep calm then I'll have bigger problems.

  My second life in the Air Force, I was a programmer with a Top Secret/SCI clearance. I belonged to AFEWC (Air Force Electronic Warfare Center). The JEWC (Joint Electronic Warfare Center) was in the same building. The things I worked on aren't classified anymore as it's all old school stuff. Remember, this is 1984 and at the height of the Cold War. Maybe it wasn't on the news but I promise there was a war going on in the intelligence arena. My job mostly dealt with Parametric data for EWIR (Electronic Warfare Integrated Reprogramming). Building and loading databases for this data from several intelligence agencies. The data was classified as blue, gray, and red that corresponded to the classification of our allies and communist enemies. The data came to us on magnetic tapes. Fighter aircraft used to have these electronic panels they would plug into the aircraft. It held all the data needed for that mission. The data would feed the onboard computer and help avoid ground rad

  I've been watching this. Meghan turned me onto this. I love any story where a woman can make it without a man. Unfortunately, my attitude didn't change toward women until after I had 2 daughters. 

  When my son was a toddler, we lived in a small cabin in the woods. The wife hated it, I absolutely loved it. It was nestled in the back of a KOA campground in Swannanoa, NC that closed 5 months out of the year. When we moved, my wife went ahead of me and I was to take care of getting things she wanted. I failed miserably. A few items we lost were my son's and my baby spoons. For years I thought of that. There was a hole in the paneling by where my son sat in his highchair. I was certain the spoons were in the wall. Fast forward 20 years. In 1997, I moved back to NC (different place 3 hours away). I decided to go to the cabin and retrieve the spoons. When I got there it was locked and nobody was living in it. I broke in. I was able to get the bottom of the paneling and pulled. Out tumbled the spoons and a Fred Flintstone fork.

 I love my daughter, Meghan, so much for putting up with me. It's working out for her too because she's real busy with work and I can care for her dog, Max. She is much like me, more than she realizes, much chagrin for her mother. This is a poster in my room and a magnet on her fridge. She is more dedicated to being green than I am. She's very creative and thoughtful. Her mom did a good job with her. I had little input.

 I was diagnosed with this. I'm also bi-polar. People with bi-polar prefer to be off their meds as it makes them feel euphoric at times and full of energy. The problem with that is you don't know when it will flip on you or go awry and start rapid cycling. Anxiety is an unfortunate side effect that results in physical problems. I spent many hours curled up on my bed in pain, nauseated, and hard to breathe. My stress at not being able to do my job resulted in a HUGE onset of anxiety and depression. It started around 2016 and progressed for 3 years. I was seeing a psychiatrist every month, trying to get it under control, adjusting meds. I was living and eating in bed and barely able to care for myself and get to work. It was gradually progressing. I felt like I was dying. Doctors were clueless, there was nothing physically wrong with me. The Asperger's is a constant thread in my head and can't be treated. It's something I can overcome with effort and it totally explai

Miles foot definitely hurts him. I tried to pickup his other foot while he was standing and he's not liking that. When I get to Colorado, I'm going to find a vet and see what can be done.   

 Green cars everywhere. I love green. I'm trying to decide on what green I want to paint my interior and exterior. Exterior will have black accents, black roof covers. Maybe in the fall or next summer.

  I saw a poster of Tom Cruz and his new pic. I'm not so impressed anymore by this. I want to see more movies about ordinary people or maybe even the very young men who really make this carrier operate. Do you realize how young these men are? The engines, the weapon systems, mechanics... how bout a story about a fuck up kid who joins the navy and his life that turns around. He ends up being responsible for the flight worthiness of an aircraft. Stories that can motivate young people to join. We don't need the military for this kind of training. These kids learn WAY more than just how to do their jobs. They are taught many life skills in how to communicate better and things that make their world so much bigger. All sorts of jobs that young people end up doing. Cops, firemen, programmers, nurses, teachers... Kids get these notions that you must be a fighter pilot or something big. Not enough emphasis on regular people doing remarkable things. We need to stop "looking down&quo

  It's still a bit early to be at Taylor Park right now. 

  I'd like to have this Norwegian Buhund.  Just like Beau except he's black. I think he and Miles would get along after a bit. I just need to pay for airfare from NJ. The dog is free from the same person that sent Beau to me. I'm going to ponder this for awhile. 

  I have almost zero pictures of my childhood. Summers in Wisconsin, Phoenix, NY, Washington. Nothing. Two photographers in the family so I know they exist. I've asked on several occasions but gave up long ago. Just more of the disrespect I've received over the years. The only thing I asked to receive from my mom's estate was a few of my dad's paintings. I have lots of paintings I'd like to find a home for someone who would enjoy them. I need the space and nowhere to hang them. In this here, you can see my arms crossed in front of me. I'm trying to hide my coat because it's light with a bow tie and my brothers had dark coats and long ties. Didn't my parents realize how little boys and girls want to fit in? I embrace difference now in part because of this kind of shit in my childhood. I wore "hand me downs" until middle school. That's the first I remember getting something of my own. I always had to wear these clumsy shoes that were too big

  I have been totally unplugged from the world. I have almost no knowledge of anything going on except for little snippets that sneak in. I am done. I can't do anything about it and I know more than I care to know.  I'm training Beau's newsfeed to only show things I love. I want nothing to do with iron pumping, gun toting, macho bullshit. Take your hate of the government somewhere else. Most of all, take your uninformed, covid infected, macho bullshit away from me. I still have to face people in real life and I know what to say now and can hear the hints to walk away. It's me and Miles now, making new friends, living a VERY simple life. I like meeting new people and hearing about their journeys. The biggest problem on Earth right now is getting my transmission fixed.

  I Haven't seen my grandson since Christmas 21. I texted him one day back when I 1st got to San Antonio and asked if he wanted to go camping. He was excited. I told him to go ask his parents. That was the last communication there. I saw him at Christmas 21. I was obviously blocked. I'll have a hard time and many years to forgive them for keeping him from me.  I've accepted the notion that not any of my family like me. Pretty certain of that. I've moved on. I'll probably never see any of my siblings again. Maybe my sister if she comes looking for me. Personally, I wouldn't drive 10 miles to see any of them. For the past 15 years, nobody seeks me out except my sister. I'd hear from kids maybe twice each year.  Brothers? I have 3 older brothers and they want no part of me. So, I decided to just start a new life, new friends, healthier life. I am aware of my mental health and realize that my siblings are old and out of touch with mental disorders. So be it. My

I've been staying with my daughter, Meghan, since the 3rd. I'm trying to earn my keep by keeping the kitchen and bathroom clean and staying out of her way. She doesn't have a TV so I brought mine. She's very active and busy. I don't have to call the tranny shop to check on the progress, it's a 31 ft motorhome and I'm sure they'd like to get it out of there. I'm starting to feel a little homesick. I hope they don't try to F me like everybody else. Nobody seems to think I'm repeat business. I have money to pay so F off!  I never would have imagined Meghan would help me. I don't think she even likes me much. None of my kids do. Getting close to her is something I am very grateful for. It took all this crap in my journey to land me here. I feel like I was dragged here. I left my first marriage when Meg was only 4 yo. I moved to NC when she was 8 yo. I had lots of visits, she and her siblings saw me often but.... If there are regrets in my lif

  While in AK in the early 80s, I was on Worldwide Mobility which meant I was ready to be deployed anywhere in the world at a moment's notice. It was the height of the Cold War. I was vaccinated for every disease on the planet.  It was constant exercises. We'd get called in the middle of the night. My bags were always ready. Most of the time, we just showed up, went through a line of people to help with finances, shots, red cross, cursor health checkup, and checking dog tags in order to prepare to be deployed. We'd just get sent home after that. Sometimes we actually boarded buses to the aircraft only to go back and be released. One time, we boarded the plane and taxied only to turn around and let us go. One time in 1983, we actually took off and was gone for 2 weeks.  A full bird Colonel was flying the C-130. He was also being evaluated and graded. Most pilots were Captains. As we neared our destination in the far north of AK, he began maneuvers to avoid ground fire. We ba

  One day I set out on my motorcycle to score some weed from my friend, Art Schafer. I was newly married in 1977. Art lived nearly across the street from my parents in an apartment. I had never been there before, he must have just moved in. There were lots of people in that small apartment. I knew some of them. Art showed me a bale of weed and the Columbian coin he retrieved from it. I tucked my ounce in the liner of my helmet and socialized for a few. Suddenly we heard keys and in comes the police who were calmly telling us to lie face down. They joked with each other and I strained to hear what they were talking about. I was scared. They took our wallets. After some time, they came around and started letting some go. They tapped on my back and told me to leave. I grabbed my helmet with my weed and left. Art ended up on Death Row in Starke, FL for killing an 86 yo woman in 1986 because she surprised him during a burglary. He didn't mean to kill her and on appeal, he was given a li

  On January 14th, 1973, I was hanging with a friend of mine, Trent Wilson. I was 14. We were at our forts in the "woods" near my house. They were building I-95 and it ended there with traffic proceeding on a small road that went by our forts. I wasn't paying attention to Trent as he was throwing rocks at cars. Why? Dunno. Suddenly, a man jumped out of the bushes and chased us. We ran toward the RR tracks then Trent turned right and I turned left. The man chased me. He was fat and had no chance to catch me. I decided to hide instead of trying to get home. I would have to cross over the road and everyone would chase me I figured. I didn't want to bring them to my neighborhood. I dove under a large tree/bush that had a large dip in the ground under it. I laid there for a very long time and tried not to breathe loud. I could see police walking around and I could hear their radios as I was right next to the road. They nabbed a guy who was in the woods sniffing glue. I saw

  Funny story. I worked "Special Handling" cargo at Elmendorf AFB, AK in 1981-1984. We were sitting around the office one night, listening to both ATOC and the tower. Sometimes planes come unannounced and we like to stay on top of it while playing cards. It was winter. In the winter, the AF did not use it's own planes to deliver cargo to the various radar sites in AK. They used Bush Pilots flying DC-3s. They ALWAYS came unannounced.  Suddenly the silence was broken and a voice asked the tower to turn on the flightline lights. The tower came back and asked questions because they did not see him on radar. They asked the pilot what runway he wanted. Silence. Then after about 30 seconds, the pilot came on and told the tower they just touched down and just needed to know where to taxi.  Pretty embarrassing for the 21st Tactical Fighter Wing.

  We went to Meghan's property today. Real nice. Big subdivision with 2+ acre lots and a HOA. She's ready to build. Maybe I'll have a place to park when I return in October. I'm real excited for her. She has a great job that she loves, lots of friends and near her family in SA. No man needed. 

 

  I have followed politics closely for the past 40 years. I am an extreme progressive. I used to be a conservative. My label is Democratic-Socialist. I believe in hard work, innovation AND progress. I am not a Communist by any stretch. I am for Democracy without any exceptions. No longer a fan of Capitalism or our Republic. We no longer have a need to send people to speak for us. We have technology that threatens their usefulness.  I've let people pull me in to their BS viewpoints about all kinds of stupid shit. I call it lazy thinking. You shouldn't base your opinions on emotions. I go by facts, science, AND common sense. The worst sin is the one YOU don't do so you have to get up in everybody's business playing the "Christian Saint" of purity. Fuck You! I cheer for those trying to make it. I cheer for those who stay on the sidelines because people suck. I'm cheering for the ones fleeing their homeland to be a US citizen. I am definitely WOKE. Why should

  I'm still fighting back at my health. My heart is good says a cardiologist I paid $2,000. My lungs are clear. I went to 6 doctors and they all said there's nothing wrong with me. THAT is where all my money went. Before I got on Medicare, I was without insurance. I desperately wanted to find relief. My knees are very painful at times but I lost a shit load of weight and building muscle in my legs to help the knees. The doc in Gunnison shot both knees with a concoction that made them tolerable as I build muscle and stretch my hips. It's all connected. For my back, I went to Frisco, CO to the "experts" who treat the skiers. She explained the muscles in my back and how my pathetic spine was affecting everything else. She shot me in my back with some stuff that temporarily made it stiff but not in pain. I decided that doctors are clueless. I set out on my own quest for healing. Inflammation is killing me but it was stress that almost killed me. The anxiety hurt me ph

  Miles is adapting well. He and Max take turns using each other's stuff. Meghan takes them on walks in the morning and evening and I take them a few times during the day.  I hope he travels well in the motorhome. He is about to be introduced to the outdoors like he has never seen. He's still limping or hopping. Poor guy. I massage it and he licks my hand. Eventually I'll have another vet look at it to see if something can be done. He's only 3 or 4 yo so he still has lots of living.  When I saw him I knew he was mine. He was very regal, sitting there with a superior attitude. Then he got up to come see me after a minute. That's when I noticed his limp. His name was Miles. How appropriate for a traveler. I still get teary-eyed thinking of Beau sometimes. I want to remember him as the younger, virile boy who he was. Just one more cry 😢 

 Not everyone has a huge nest egg, so you need as much put away as possible. $5000 might cover a humongous event, but you better think big. Save as much as possible. I’m currently saving $1,000 each month, $1400 if I really suck it up. The savings is perpetual. Eventually, I’ll need a new MH and toad. Stick to your plan. Be realistic. Use a spreadsheet to plan and track every expense. Starve first before touching the  emergency fund. You need some sense of security. Fight through the avoidance of reality if that’s a problem. Money, like water, is essential. If you can’t possibly save money, then you need more income. Workamp. Never drive when your money is empty and no credit cards no matter how tempting. At a minimum, you should have $1500 available. Cash or credit. With a major breakdown you can parachute into an RV Park with a tow truck to save your money to get fixed. It's enough money to cover most everything else. I parachuted into this RV Park. I had just overcome a few inci

  He was a maniac, totally obsessed with doing one thing for days. When I first got him, I bought him one of those large, hard kettle balls. He ate it. I found nothing but plastic in his poop. It took him 1 week. His breed are hard workers, known for coming home with broken teeth and wounds. The first time I let him off his leash, he took off but I found him 20 minutes later. He repeated the runaway dog show 3 more times. In Colorado, I had to walk 1 mile each way on painful knees to find him. He was trying to herd some cows on a road. I wished I could turn him loose but feared he wouldn't return. He did come back in 1 hour when he escaped at a state park in GA. The Norwegian Buhund is relatively new in the US. I had him shipped to me in NC from NJ. United is the best. You can pick them up in baggage claim. Other airlines require you to find him at some cargo hold place. He was extremely nervous but brave when he arrived and for the first few days. He was fearless. Other dogs at th