The Wonder Years

 I have almost zero pictures of my childhood. Summers in Wisconsin, Phoenix, NY, Washington. Nothing. Two photographers in the family so I know they exist. I've asked on several occasions but gave up long ago. Just more of the disrespect I've received over the years.

The only thing I asked to receive from my mom's estate was a few of my dad's paintings. I have lots of paintings I'd like to find a home for someone who would enjoy them. I need the space and nowhere to hang them.

In this here, you can see my arms crossed in front of me. I'm trying to hide my coat because it's light with a bow tie and my brothers had dark coats and long ties. Didn't my parents realize how little boys and girls want to fit in? I embrace difference now in part because of this kind of shit in my childhood.

I wore "hand me downs" until middle school. That's the first I remember getting something of my own. I always had to wear these clumsy shoes that were too big for me. 

It's such a dumb picture because it totally doesn't fit our reality then. We were poor and dressed like poor and hardly ever wore shoes.

One evening  while eating dinner, there was a knock at the door. My dad yelled "come in" which my mother hated. An old, poor black man stepped into the doorway as we continued to eat. He asked "Does y'all have any old clothes you can give away?". My dad did not miss a beat and yelled "We wear our old clothes!!!".

My mom was still buzz cutting our hair way past when it was cool. It was the source of much friction in the home. As a result the Cain boys wear their hair long. Except Richard who is special.

When I was in high school, my brother Richard was home from college and talking to my mom. He asked her why the age gap for him and Gary was only one year, unlike 3 years for the rest of us. She told him it was an accident. He was disappointed that HE was an accident. 

My dad came home from tennis, sweating in the kitchen, drinking Gatorade. Richard ran in and asked my dad if that was true that he was a mistake. My dad, never hesitating, said "hell, I don't even know if you're mine". Richard was horrified. He is the only family member with blue eyes.